This was originally on the BBC Ouch! Website
There's a great scene in the film Afterlife, http://www.alisonpeebles.co.uk/afterlife.htm when the brother of the woman with Down's Syndrome, has to decide between a life living near his sister, or a fabulous career. But, what do I expect of Stan's brother? When we're older, or gone, will Harry feel like he HAS to look after Stan? I certainly don't expect him to. We want to do enough while we're still around to make Stan stand on his own feet, and to guarantee his care. I want his brother to have all the advantages in life that I've been lucky to have. Jane and I have travelled extensively. I want Harry to. It's got to be up to him. We certainly hope we've got things right so far. Not for us, those hippy books called something like "My brother flies on the back of the big red hen" which completely skirt around the issue and allude to a brother having a disability. From an early age, Harry's known that Stan has Down's Syndrome. When Stan was born, we asked Harry if he minded that he had a brother with Down's Syndrome. He said: "No, because now we're a family." Someone said to me that when he's a teenager, Harry may resent Stan. We shall see. It's a tricky one, and we'll have to play things cool. But THE number one person in Stan's life……….is his brother. That's all that matters.