Some very anglo saxon words

Swearing at an unknown French man in the street isn't perhaps the most sensible thing to do, but it's only one of three notable incidents at New Year.

Firstly, though, this column isn't just about Stan. As it says on the title it includes the extended family. We were in Macdonalds in Amiens - we take them to the best places. A few minutes before some anti-MacD activitsts had set fire to toilet seat, but they got off lightly. In our party there are six kids, three of whom are teenagers - and they started singing really loudly. The security guard came over and told us off! Actually it was quite a moment of pride.

Then there was the time a day or two later when Stan got the football, INSIDE the bistro and toe-punted it. As it made its way to table numero neuf, I started thinking of the new bill we would be presented with. It lobbed downwards toward plates and glasses all nicely made out on a table and it hit the side - and bounced back into Stan's arms.

Oh, yes and the swearing. A man mocked Stan in the street. So I marched after him, tapped him on the shoulder and employed some words that Asterix and Obelix may have blushed at. Two of the teenagers in our party saw this and secretly I think they were proud. (As much as they can be of an embarrasing uncle).

My wife doesn't know that I took it upon myself to pursue this man down the street and hurl abuse. Please don't tell her - or then you really would have to cover your ears.